Grieving From A Meditator's Perspective

This is the kind of post I never thought I'd need to write anytime soon. I'm writing this because now is a time that so many are sharing my experience during these intense times and I hope it will bring a new perspective on how we view death and deal with the loss of a loved one (there is no correct way). I have known for a while what this technique can do for someone grieving, but I have never experienced it to this extent.

I lost my Dad, Marcus two weeks ago from a heart attack peacefully in his sleep. He was just 56 and my siblings and niece loved him dearly.

Sadness, grief and loss are what I felt very deeply during the days after, at the same time I had this sense of comfort, which I can only attribute to meditation and work I had done over the years. I felt more connected to my dad, more so than when he was here in his physical body.

During these early days I have found meditation as the perfect canvas for me to express my grief. I let those thoughts trickle in, I'm not pushing them away. With all things stress related in my life, I'm less affected; I'm aware that they happen, but I'm recovering much faster.

Grief is a stress response; the main difference to everyday stress is that it lasts longer. We often say we are grieving for someone, but we are actually grieving for ourselves, our loss of accessibility to the person that we loved. Depending on your belief system, that person could now be experiencing nothing or pure bliss; personally I feel they return back to the pool of collective consciousness, where they can further support us.

You may feel anger towards the person who left, or regret that you didn't experience more with them. But what if it was always supposed to happen exactly like this? What if that person's death means more than we currently see?

I've had lots of lovely messages come in, but often those people feel helpless because they know they can't ease the pain of grief. Ultimately we have to go through this process on our own. Events like these can push someone to seek knowledge, a huge opportunity for gaining insight and wisdom about the process of grief. (Yes, it is essential that we grieve; we need to feel the emotions and let them flow through us.) Meditation has helped me feel into the emotion and not run from it.

When we meditate we train the mind to happily leave the attachment of our everyday sensory experiences, just for 20 minutes. We dip into a connected, blissful state of consciousness and experience unprecedented states of rest. In this restful state we let go of the backlog of unprocessed stress and trauma. We recharge and strengthen our adaptation energy, so when faced with new challenges and stressors we can process them more efficiently.

Thank you, Dad, thank you for the lessons you helped me learn so far and for the lessons you'll help me learn in the future. He lived for his children and his grandchild, we were his one constant. I look forward to this new chapter with you.